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Better relationships at work and home? Do this. Now.

Updated: Jun 14, 2023

Remember that time - you must have been 5 or 6 years old. You tied that tattered and loved living room blanket around your neck. Okay, YOU didn't tie it, you had to get help. And when those adult hands finished knotting it up (I mean, who knows who tied it - you had places to GO) - even though the blanket was thin, it's heft still formed a funny and knot at your throat. You didn't care. Hurry up! You could barely wait to get it tied so you could ZOOM off, arms outstretched, ready to FLY around your marshy-dinosaur-world with your new super hero cape.





Remember that?


I do.


Or something like it.


You had a gift when you were a kid. So did I. I still have it, but I had to go looking for it. You still have it. You just haven't used it in a while. It's there if you want it. And if you do, this one simple change that will bring you more peace, decreased restlessness, and greater purpose. It will alter your life. Now that's powerful.

The the good news we had it as kids. Some have more than others, for sure, but we all have it in us. I kept mine up through my young adult years. Then I lost it.


I mean really lost it. That's when anxiety and depression took over.


Feeling desperate, I learned the tool again. Recovering and uncovering myself into a more peaceful and happy life.


I'm so thankful for one particular teacher and his gentle, loving way of reminding me of this universal tool that is free for the using and showing me how to harness it. Only to... ...lose it again.


The result? The familiar loop of depression and anxiety.


This time with mortgages, kids, and a marriage in the mix. It seemed insurmountable. Desperate - again - I relearned the tool.


This time from a different teacher with a really (I mean really) different style and really different purpose. I was shaken back awake into the power of this tool via sirens and blow horns.


Sometimes that's the gift of rock bottom: there are things down there that hurt enough to push us to swim back to the surface to catch some air and find our way back home.


Ready for what it is?


Really ready?


Of course you are.


It's...


Focus.

Yeah, I knew you wouldn't like it.

Focus truly has the ability to free us. Want some big names behind that claim?

Gandhi

The Buddha

Warren Buffet

Bill Gates


Strange company? Not really.

The first teacher I mentioned was a spiritual one. The second teacher I mentioned was a business one. Two different people, two different purposes, one universal principle. Focus.

The power of focus is undeniable. When we claim this ability, we truly are free. You have the choice of where to land your mind, your hands, your actions. You have the choice to steer them to the best places for your own unique purposes. You have control. If you think you don't, you're selling yourself short. And I don't buy it. It just takes practice.

Today, try one of these three simple strategies.

Will one action change everything? No. One action will start another action. Just act. It works. I promise. Choose one:


1. Put your phone in a drawer. Can't possibly? Sure you can. 10 minutes. In a drawer. You're going to be okay. You're in control, not your Andriod or Apple. You. Make a choice to take back your focus. Even if for 10 minutes today.

2. Close your tabs. Yeah, you know what I mean - those tabs up there on your browser. Close every one except the one you are reading. That's okay. I'll wait. Want to close mine if you want to. I just want you to STOP cluttering your brain. Multi-tasking is not effective or dare I say "real". Focus. Close your tabs. Worried you'll forget what you were doing? Good. You probably didn't need to be working on it anyway.

3. Keep your head where your hands are. This is one of my favorites. If you hands are washing dishes, keep your head (your mind) on the dishes. Look at the bubbles, feel the water. If your hands are maneuvering a fork to put food in your mouth, keep your head (your mind) on the food and your fork. Think about how the food tastes, how the fork feels in your hand. Not what's for your next meal or what's on YouTube on your phone! If your head (your mind) is writing an email, write the damn email! Don't look at Webex or Slack or whatever damn productivity tool is screaming at you. FOCUS on your email.

Need one more reason? You impact those around you. It's not fun or cute or endearing to be around someone harried and unfocused. Instead, people feel disconnected, unseen, and unimportant. I know. I've caused all those things to happen by being unfocused. If you can't seem to focus for yourself, start by focusing to benefit someone else. We all need a place to start, I'm just asking you to start...and keep practicing.


If you're already in my email community hit reply and tell me which you chose - 1, 2 or 3 and one word to describe how it felt. (Why, because I want you to ACT and I want to know how you're progressing.).


If you're not in my email community, join. Click here, then on click on the Daily Dose button up top. Pop in your email. (sorry for the 2x click, I'll make it easier for you in the next site update). You'll get weekly wisdom (that will last you all the days of the week, I promise).

You got this. I promise.

Ashley

P.S. Please help me reach 304 more people by September 30, 2023 (why 304? don't know. we all need a goal). Forward this to someone you love! They (and you) will get the Red Pen exercise that I created for my community. It's a great tool to help get the freedom that focus brings!

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