I taught sex ed for 20 years.
And lied about it.
Not overtly.
But lies of omission are still lies.
Here's why it matters to you...
When you unravel those
"white"
"polite"
"in their best interest"
lies
(forget about the big ones for a moment)
you reclaim an energy...
you didn't even know was leaking.
Simple freedoms.
The amount of energy it takes to expend:
creating
keeping
making
holding
lies
even the simplest of lies -
the "white lies"
the "I don't want to hurt their feelings lies"
the "I don't want to be mean lies"
the "I'm being polite lies"
Is exhausting you.
Period.
Your creative energy is clamped. Numbed, Disconnected from your body.
It's not serving you
and it's not serving anyone else.
It's time to break the habit.
Wait, but I'm not lying.
Yeah, you are.
I guarantee that with a tiny bit of awareness around your lies
you'll uncover so much about yourself.
And reclaim so much more energy.
Even if you think you aren't lying.
I didn't overtly lie about teaching sex ed.
Instead, I...
Avoided talking about it with the vast majority of people
Skirted around the edges when I did talk about it
Was calculated in what I shared so I didn't mistakenly "offend"
Lies of omission are still lies.
Those are all lies of omission
which are still lies.
Causing years of blocked, stagnant creative energy.
Unblocking it has opened up a new level of
ease
creativity
attraction
energy
Let's do this.
Step-by-step.
1. What are you lying about?
Get clear with yourself.
Watch yourself for 24 hours -
Seriously, every word that comes out of your mouth.
Notice every time you have an inkling that you are lying.
Notice the low stakes things such as:
You hate pepperoni pizza but agree to it every Friday night.
You dislike coming into the office daily, but because you're a leader talk up it's benefits.
You prefer clothing that fits (more tightly, loosely, whatever), but wear the opposite because that's the norm in your circles?
Notice the high stakes flavor of lies such as:
You're over your 14 year marriage but can't possibly leave
You hate being a lawyer (or accountant or fitness coach or...)
You don't love spending time in your most important relationship (parents, kids, spouse)
It took me 20 years to get clear I was lying about teaching sex ed.
Don't let yours take you that long.
Bring awareness today.
Notice what you are lying about.
2. Silence = suffering
Silence - especially to yourself - is suffering.
Name it.
Choose one lie and name it.
You don't have to tell anyone your truth.
You do need to start to practice coming clean with yourself.
Say it out loud - what are you lying about?
Seriously, say it outloud.
How does it sound?
Hearing it, is that really the lie?
Keep naming it outloud until it resonates.
It might sound like "I don't like celebrating my birthday but go out every year" (the lie)
to "I don't like celebrating my birthday with my friends but do it every year" (the more accurate lie)
to
"I don't enjoy the circle of friends I'm hanging out with yet keep doing it" (the even more accurate lie)
Say it out loud - what are you lying about?
3. And the truth is...
Take the lie and find the damn truth.
Use this formula -
State your lie, then add "and the truth is... Using our above example:
I don't enjoy the circle of friends I'm hanging out with yet keep doing it. (the lie)
And the truth is, I've outgrown them. (the truth)
State the lie, follow it with
AND THE TRUTH IS__________________.
In my sex ed example, I lied about teaching sex ed, and the truth was, I'd actually outgrown what I was teaching, yet I wasn't ready to let it go.
4. Imagine a new action
This can be the trickiest part -
and if you're able to do it,
you'll make massive shifts.
Imagine what a new action would look like.
Using our example above:
I don't enjoy the circle of friends I'm hanging out with yet keep doing it. (the lie)
And the truth is, I've outgrown them. (the truth)
I can see myself with new people, new associations and no longer interacting with my old circle of friends (the new action)
As silly as it sounds,
imagining the new action
starts the wheels in motion.
Don't underestimate it's power.
In my sex ed example, I realized that my new action would be expanding into creating my own work around sexuality + spirituality.
Imagining the 'what's next' put wheels into motion at warp speed.
Everything began to change after that.
Be witnessed.
If you're in my email community,
hit reply and tell me what you're lying about.
Speaking the truth to yourself is enough to set you free -
speaking it to someone who can see you, witness you and release it takes it to a whole other level.
P.S. Not in my email community? Pop your email in below.
If you're looking for a support on your journey, book 25 minutes with me.
I can't wait to hear from you.
You got this. I promise.
xo,
Ashley
P.S. Not in my email community? Pop your email in below.
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